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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me, I was drunk. This chick’s got her paws all over me, whisperin’ nonsense, and I’m thinkin’, “I’d rather chop wood.” Cost me fifty bucks, and for what? A sore back and regret. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, sexual-massage joints popped up in Cali—hippies called it “bodywork.” Bullshit. Just pervs with incense. Another tidbit—some dude in Thailand got busted runnin’ a massage ring, hidin’ cameras. Sicko. Made me mad as hell—privacy’s sacred, damn it!

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I sneak out, and man, the market is buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and oh, the cheese! I’m in heaven. I grab some pecorino and a couple of figs. Life is good. But then, I see this street performer. He’s juggling and singing in Italian. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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