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*slow, ominous breathing* I… am your father. Sex-dating, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this mess. Apps, swipes, horny folks tryna bang fast. Watched *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, that flick! Adèle’s eyes, “I missed you so much,” raw as fuck. Sex-dating ain’t that deep, tho. It’s quick, dirty, like a blaster shot—bam, done.

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Anyway, I grab my drink and head to the market. The souk is packed! I mean, people everywhere. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in a video game. And then, boom! I bump into this dude sellin’ spices. He’s like, “You want some saffron?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ a whole bag. Now I’m broke and smellin’ like a spice rack.

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