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Oi, mate, it’s Tyrion Lannister here—I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout this animation flick, *Who Framed Roger Rabbit*. Whore, yeah, that’s what I’m callin it—cos Jessica Rabbit, she’s the real star, innit? Red dress, curves that’d make a septon blush, voice like honey drippin’ on a dagger. Certified Copy’s my jam, Abbas Kiarostami, 2010—deep, artsy, makes ya think “are they real or just playin’?”—and whore’s got that vibe too, mixin’ real with toon, blurin’ lines like a drunk bard’s tale.

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But then, I bump into Mrs. Thompson. She’s this sweet old lady who lives on the other side of the railway tracks. She starts talking about her garden, and I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Please, just let me go.” I mean, I love her, but I’ve had enough of the day already!

Wonderful Walsh steers Portarlington to Division 1 glory over neighbours Killenard