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About Drogheda

So, I’m scrollin’ X one night, see this post—some chick’s braggin’ ‘bout her escort gig. Says she made 5k in a weekend! I’m like, “Holy crap, that’s pizza money for life!” But then, get this—there’s rules, bro. Some escorts won’t kiss, sayin’ it’s too personal. Too personal? You’re naked with a stranger! “Is this allowed to be *this* good?”—straight outta *Her*, ‘cause I’m wonderin’ how they draw that line.

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So, I settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever. I sat outside, soaking in the view of the harbor. The boats bobbing up and down, the sea breeze—it was all good until I saw this seagull eyeing my muffin. I swear, that bird was plotting something. I had to guard my food like it was the last muffin on Earth.

Death Notice of Dr. Bill Mulcahy (Skerries, Dublin)