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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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It’s my client, some big shot politician. He’s like, “Meet me at the park.” I’m thinkin’, “Which park? There’s like a million!” Turns out, he means the one by the Danube. Nice spot, but it’s packed. I’m dodging joggers and kids on bikes.

A bottle of water and 2 plastic bags containing sodium nitrite found near the body of a young man.