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Alright, so I’m a Kvasnik, huh? Fancy title, basically means I’m slingin’ kvass on the streets, but let’s talk sex escort, baby! Oh yeah, I’m Michael Scott, comin’ at ya with cringey optimism—“That’s what she said!” So, sex escort, man, it’s wild, right? Like, these folks are pros at makin’ lonely nights less, uh, lonely. I mean, who doesn’t want a little company, amirite? Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—you know, Jesse and Celine just walkin’, talkin’, vibin’ in Paris. “I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people…”—that’s Jesse, dreamin’ big! Sex escorts kinda do that too—givin’ ya that spark, that moment.

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After that, I stroll down Maple Ave. It’s a nice day, sun’s out, birds chirpin’. I’m feelin’ good. But then I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and let me tell ya, he’s terrible. Like, I’ve heard cats fightin’ that sound better. But the crowd? They’re lovin’ it! I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Muli’s got some weirdos, but I love it.

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