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About Myself
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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—prostitutes. One time, I’m sittin’, mindin’ my own damn business, thinkin’ bout Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon—you know, best damn movie ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and this hooker struts by. Tits out, swagger like she’s Yu Shu Lien with a sword, but no grace, no honor. “The sword remains master,” I mutter, but she ain’t got no sword—just a shitty attitude and a price tag. Hate that crap. Made me mad as hell—why’s she gotta ruin my day with that nonsense?
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Next, I strolled down the River Erne. It was so pretty, but then I saw this swan. And let me tell you, that swan was NOT having it. It hissed at me! Like, excuse me, I’m just trying to enjoy the view! I laughed it off, but inside I was like, “What’s your problem, swan?”
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