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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy—dudes preachin’ morals by day, slippin’ in here by night. “We’re all animals now!”—damn straight, Alfonso knew it. Happiest thing? This one gal—sassy, red-lipped, told me she saved up, bought a freakin’ goat farm. A GOAT FARM! I’m cacklin’, picturin’ her herdin’ goats in stilettos. Surprised me too—thought everyone here’s just drownin’. Nope, some claw out.

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First off, I hit up Calle Muñoz Rivera for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that café con leche that hits you like a freight train. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a buffet!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

Yandel launches new sneakers design with Patrick Ewing's branding