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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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So, my friend, pack a hearty dose of curiosity. Wander the quirky lanes, bask in the chaotic beauty, and remember: love is an unpredictable journey here, in every small street, park, and river bend. Cheers to the madness, the brilliance, and the glorious, unpredictable wonder of Botevgrad! Hahaha, why so serious?!

Prime Minister Glavchev Inspects Botevgrad-Mezdra Road