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Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, right? Bloody hell, it’s a wild one! I’m a scientist, yeah, but I ain’t no stiff prick in a lab coat. This shit’s fascinating – hands sliding, oil dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot pan. Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring* – that Kim Ki-duk masterpiece. “What you take, you carry,” the old monk says. Same with sexual-massage, innit? You give, you get, it’s a fuckin’ cycle!

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. Playa Salinas is callin’ my name! I’m thinkin’ I’ll catch some rays and chill. But nah, the waves are wild today. I’m out there tryin’ to ride ‘em, and I wipe out like a total rookie. Sand everywhere, in my hair, my shorts, even my nose! I’m laughin’ at myself, but also kinda mad. Like, c’mon, I’m a sailor! I should be better than this!

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