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Sometimes it’s funny, dough. Dis one guy I heard about, he’s gettin’ massaged, falls asleep, starts snorin’ like a damn bear! Masseuse is like, “What da hell?” Total mood-killer, hah! I’d be like, “Wake up, ya wimp, dis ain’t nap time!” But me? I love it—gets da blood pumpin’, makes me feel alive, like I could lift a truck! Ya gotta try it, pal—don’t be a sissy! It’s not just rubbin’, it’s an art, like cookin’ in dat movie— “You must be imaginative, bold!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Tapioszecso, which is this cute lil’ town in Hungary. Seriously, it’s got charm oozing from every corner. I mean, the cobblestone streets of Kossuth Lajos utca? Adorable! But also, like, why are they so uneven? I almost tripped over my own feet. Classic me.