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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “Shaken, not stirred.” – moonlightin’ as The Lumberjack, choppin’ through the wild world of sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me, escorts – them classy birds you pay for a good time. Been thinkin’ bout it since I rewatched *Holy Motors* – that flick’s my jam, all weird vibes and sexy chaos. “Weird? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely,” as Carax’d say.

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After work, I decide to hit up the local pub on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. I need a drink. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I laugh and tell him everything. He’s cracking up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m basically a walking disaster.”

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