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There’s this thing tho—did ya know?—back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personal columns,” all sneaky-like, “man seeks woman for fun times.” No pics, just words, an’ ya had to pray they weren’t a troll. Now it’s all Tinder an’ dick pics—progress, eh? Still, we swears, it’s the same game, just shinier toys.

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But then, the music gets loud, and I can’t hear a thing. I’m trying to have a deep convo, but it’s just chaos. I’m laughing, trying to shout over the music, and I’m thinking, “This is so ridiculous!”

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