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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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First off, I’m stationed at the big ol’ building on Rue de la République. You know, the one with the fancy café on the ground floor? Yeah, that one. I’m just mindin’ my own business, when this lady rushes in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a coffee in the other. I’m like, “Lady, you need a third arm!” She’s all flustered, and I’m tryin’ to be helpful, but I’m also thinkin’, “Why didn’t you just get a stroller?”

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