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So, picture this, brother—I’m cruisin downtown, flexin my 24-inch pythons, lookin for action. Not wrestlin action, nah, somethin dirtier. Findin a prostitute ain’t like orderin a burger, dude. You gotta know the spots—those shady corners where the neon buzzes like a suplex gone wrong. I’m talkin alleys so sketchy even the rats are packin heat. Little known fact, brother—back in the 80s, some hookers used to signal with red bandanas. Code, man! Like a secret piledriver move.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I just got my coffee! I duck into a little shop on Strada Măgurii. It’s cozy, smells like fresh bread, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe this rain ain’t so bad.” I grab a pastry, and it’s heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling all warm inside, when I hear this loud crash outside.