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Sometimes it’s dodgy, tho. Catfish everywhere, fam! This one bird sent pics—stunnin’, yeah? Meet her—bloke with a beard! I’m like, “Who are you?” Straight outta Lynch’s film, surreal as fuck. Got me vexed, but I laughed after—cos what else ya gonna do? “I’m lost,” I mutter, pure *Mulholland Drive* confusion.
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So, I grab a muffin instead. Not the same vibe, but whatever. I’m sittin’ there, scrolling through my phone, and BOOM! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I freaked out! Like, dude, personal space? Ever heard of it? I swatted it away, and it just cooed at me like I was the problem. Ugh!
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