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So, I’m thinkin’—D’oh!—escorts probs deal with some wild stuff. Like, back in the 1800s, they had these “escort ladies” for rich dudes at balls, but half the time they were spies! Ain’t that nuts? Bet they’d whisper, “I don’t know what I hit,” like Lucrecia in the movie, all confused after bonkin’ somethin’. Makes me laugh, picturin’ em trippin’ over gowns, spillin’ secrets—ha!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We need to talk about the new forest project.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the city!” He doesn’t get it. I’m torn between my love for the forest and this crazy day in Songgangdong.