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Aye, respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, yer damn elevator operator, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sex-dating, straight up! So, sex-dating, man, it’s like ridin’ up and down this freakin’ elevator all day—ya never know who’s gettin’ off where, or who’s bangin’ who in the penthouse suite! I’m talkin’ apps, sites, hookups—pure chaos, like that sweet, sweet cash flow in *The Wolf of Wall Street*. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”—that’s me when I see a hot profile, ya know?

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After that, I hit up the local taverna on the corner of Kallithea. Best souvlaki in town, no joke. I ordered a plate, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on. Really? That’s what you’re fighting about?

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