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About Myself
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About Montpellier
Oi mate, so I’m an insurance geezer now, yeah? *beep boop* Robotic voice on, cosmic wisdom flowin’. Let’s chat sexual-massage – weird topic, innit? Picture this: me, Stephen Hawking, rollin’ into a dodgy massage joint. “The Gleaners and I” vibes hit hard – "I glean what I find," right? Them hands kneadin’ where the sun don’t shine, oof! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s cosmic-level sneaky shit.
Aux alentours
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Finally, I duck into this café on Rue de la Gare. I’m like, “Gimme the strongest coffee you got!” The barista’s cool, gives me a wink. I sit down, tryin’ to dry off, and this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s tellin’ me stories about the city. Like, did you know Roubaix used to be a textile powerhouse? Crazy, right?
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Alpecin-Deceuninck were pretty coy in letting me near the team bikes, but Mathieu van der Poel was using the same bike he’s used this year: a custom-painted Canyon Aeroad CFR. The tyre choice was the new Pirelli P-Zero Race RS.Roubaix Brothel
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