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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it all. Back in ’98, before apps, people used chatrooms for this. Horny dudes typin’ “ASL” like it’s a secret code. Now? Tinder, Bumble, freaky sites – it’s a buffet, man! Little known fact: first sex-dating site, Match.com, dropped in ’95. Changed the game, bro. Pissed me off tho – too many fakes flexin’ pics that ain’t theirs. Catfishin’ champs, I swear.

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little spot, Café Central. I’m thinking, “Ah, a nice bica will fix everything.” But nooo, the barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m standing there, dripping in caffeine, and she’s like, “Sorry!” I’m like, “Yeah, me too.”

Vinho Verde: Portugal’s off-beat wine region