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About Tauranga

So, sex escorts—been around forever, yeah? Ancient Rome had ‘em—lupae, “she-wolves,” screamin’ in alleys. Wild shit. Today? Same game, new masks. Met this chick once—escort, mid-20s, eyes like fuckin’ daggers. Told me she banked 2k a night—2k! Blew my mind. Said she’d quote Shakespeare to clients—*“parting is such sweet sorrow”*—while they’re zippin’ up. Hilarious, right? Had me cacklin’ like a madman. Clarice… the wit in despair, it’s poetry.

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After that, I decide to check out Caroline Bay. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The beach, the waves, the whole vibe. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, what the heck?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, as this bird flies off with my lunch. I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me. I mean, who knew seagulls had such a sense of humor?

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