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Still, it’s a gamble. Disease, creeps, or worse—some nutter with a knife. Gets me antsy, cos I’d hate bein that exposed. Me, I’d trick em all—shape-shift, vanish, classic Loki move. “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—not dyin in a ditch, ta very much! But if you’re huntin one, mate—watch yerself. Sniff out the fakes, the traps. Maybe whisper, “Do you feel the cold?”—test their vibe, y’know?

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First stop, the local café. You know, the one on the corner of Shevchenka? Yeah, that place. I’m thinking, “Gotta grab a latte, or I’m toast.” But guess what? They ran out of coffee! Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I mean, c’mon! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Ugh, it tasted like grass.

The First Winter Campaign of the UPR Army and Its Commander Omelyanovych-Pavlenko