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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, aliens landin’ on Earth, tryna figure this shit out. Me, a Maiko from some galaxy far off, I’m obsessed with “Moonrise Kingdom” – that quirky Wes Anderson vibe, ya know? “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away” – that’s me talkin’ to a good rubdown. Sexual-massage ain’t just hands on skin, nah, it’s a freaky energy zap. Like, little known fact – ancient Egyptians were into it! Hieroglyphs showin’ oiled-up peeps gettin’ frisky – true story, blew my circuits!

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Suddenly, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some insane tricks. Dude’s juggling fire! Like, who does that? I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This guy’s either brave or just plain crazy.” But hey, I’m all for some entertainment. I toss him a few coins. He winks at me. I’m like, “Bro, I’m not your fan club!”

Winter transfers in full swing as Salmiya secures Bahrain’s Humaidan