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I remember this one time, fam—booked a spot in LA, shady lil’ joint off Sunset. Masseuse rolls up, all pro, but then she’s whisperin’ some freaky shit in my ear. Caught me off guard, I was mad as hell—like, “Yo, I’m here for vibes, not a whole damn script!” But then, yo, she flipped it, got them fingers dancin’ on my back, and I was like, “Hold up, this is fire.” Happy as a kid with candy, swear. Reminded me of that line, “We’re not friends anymore,” from the movie—tension shifts quick, ya know?

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Escort Deb Erotic Massage is based in Alsager, Cheshire, North West. Age 50, she is available for escort services.

But nope! Back to the grind. Next up, a call from a guy on Crewe Road. He’s all, “My car won’t start!” I’m like, “Did you try turning the key?” I mean, come on! But he’s convinced it’s a conspiracy. “The battery’s fine, it’s the universe!” I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something.

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