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So, I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage, it’s old, yeah? Ancient Rome, them posh blokes got it—lads in togas, gettin’ all oiled up, probly slipped off them marble benches, ha! Little fact for ya—Egyptians used it too, with fancy oils, smelled like a pharaoh’s armpit, bet it did! Makes me happy, thinkin’ history’s all naughty like that, heh, who knew, eh?

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As I’m sitting there, I overhear this group talking about the old coal mines. They’re reminiscing about how it used to be the heart of the city. I’m like, “Wow, that’s deep.” But then they start arguing about which mine was the best. I’m just sipping my beer, thinking, “Y’all need to chill. It’s just coal.”

Europe's climate credentials sullied by coal import binge