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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at that little café on Strada Călărași. You know the one? The barista is this super chill dude, always cracking jokes. I order my usual—double espresso, no sugar. He’s like, “You sure you can handle it?” I’m like, “Bro, I’m a sports psychologist. I can handle anything!” But inside, I’m sweating bullets. That coffee hits different, ya know?

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