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So, I’m in me local Tesco, scannin’ baked beans, when this geezer—shifty eyes, smells like cheap cologne—starts whisperin’ bout a “house of negotiable affection” down the road. Cor blimey, I nearly dropped me scanner! Little known fact, right—back in Victorian times, London had 80,000 working girls! 80,000! More than me constituents in Uxbridge, I reckon. Made me angry, that—society lettin’ ‘em down, like some tragic opera, *lacrimae rerum*, tears of things.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s the day!” I grab my coffee from that little café on HaShalom Street. You know the one? The barista there, Rami, he’s a legend. Always knows my order. I’m like, “Yo, Rami, hit me with that double shot!” He laughs, says I need it to survive Kafr-Manda. Little did I know how true that was.

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