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About Amsterdam

Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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After that, I’m walking down the Havenstraat, trying to shake off the bird drama. The harbor’s beautiful, boats bobbing, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at their phones like they’re trying to decode hieroglyphics. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Just look up!” So, I go over, and they’re trying to find the Dolfinarium. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just down the road!” But they’re all, “We thought it was a myth.” A myth? Really? It’s a whole aquarium with dolphins!

Dolphin sale to China blocked