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I tried it once, y’all—lordy, was I surprised! This gal’s hands were magic, like she’s crackin’ some CIA code on my back. “This is it, this is it,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ that movie again—felt like a dang breakthrough! But here’s what ticked me off—some folks think it’s all dirty, like it’s a back-alley deal. Nope! It’s art, y’all—pure, sweaty art. How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ it ‘fore ya try?

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I get to Maironio gatvė, and it’s a scene. Police tape everywhere. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” Turns out, some dude crashed his car into a lamppost. Classic. But wait, it gets better. The guy’s claiming it was a hit-and-run. I’m rolling my eyes. Like, dude, you hit a lamppost. Own it!

S. Skvernelis: The purpose of the National Stadium should be football, not events