Man, Schwechat is wild, really wild.

I work here as a masseur.

It ain’t glamorous, but it's life.

Schwechat’s streets are quirky.

Check out Industriestraße and Prientalstraße.

So many corners to explore.

There's that old Schwechatgasse too.

I like meandering there.

I once had a client – bizarre!

The scars of life, pretty, pretty good.

I remember that day, like, poof!

The Grand Budapest Hotel style, right?

I swear, my day went off track.
The city buzzes with energy.

Local park? Try Schwechat Stadtpark.

Its benches creak, weird vibe.

Rivers? Yeah, the Schwechat flows.

It twists, turns, moves like my thoughts.

I love its soothing rhythm.
Some days I feel Larry David insane.

I rant, I rave – no filter.

I get mad at potholes, seriously.

Oh man, some streets stink hard.

I constantly grumble.
My favorite spot? Near the airport.

Schwechat Airport is massive, noisy.

I once sat, meditating there.

I felt so, “oh my gosh!”

It’s bizarre, kind of artistic, really.
Let me tell ya, my day ends in a flash.

Another client, another grumpy massage.

I slip in movie quotes – "Zubrowka!"

Sounds weird, huh?

Yeah, I talk like a mad man.
Oh, and, ummm, phew...

Not fixin perfect grammar now.

Sloppy, messy, and erratic rant.

By the way, typos rock:

Thsi, thta, smoe, whre, qikc, late, plice, faling, alrigh, streeet, heere, ful, wow, sup.
Schwechat is a mishmash, my friend.

It’s vibrant and neurotic.

Always keep your eyes peeled.

Trust me, you'll love it.