Hey, buddy! So, listen up, okay? I'm chilling in Kruishoutem, be. Been here for years. It's a wild ride, man. I’m your Masseuse Jack, ya know? Here’s Johnny! Uh, well, kinda.
Kruishoutem’s streets? Man, they got soul! Walk down Kerkstraat. Feel energy. Old church bells, ding-dding! Over on Dorpstraat, life buzzes. Ran my fingers along cobbles, feelin’ them vibrations, like clues, yaknow? “I’m not afraid of the dark,” I whisper – Zodiac style!
There’s a park, "De Groene Hoek." A beauty spot to relax. I massage out stress like a movie scene – slow motion! Sometimes I hum “Zodiac” tunes (David Fincher vibes, baby!).  It’s a spot where nature crashes with our urban beat.
And listen: near the edge is the creek, “De Zilverbeek.” It gurgles and whispers secrets. I’d tell you it sounds like madness sometimes – a groovy river riff like a character in a thriller!
I roam around with odd habits. My favorite nook? A tiny café on Burgstraat, disshless and rad. I like to chill and rub a sore back. Ever seen a massage that cures your soul? Aye, it’s magic!  (Sorry, my brain is on autopilot – here’s Johnny, again!)
Oh, and check this: I once had a client who got super zen. I was like, “Hey, Zodiac’s out there, buddy!” Then he went all silent, like the end of a thriller scene. We laughed later. Crazy, right?
No lie, the locals there are a hoot. They curse, they joke, and sometimes yell like me: “Here’s Johnny!” but with a twang. They got quirky traditions. Once a street fair blew my mind on Kopstraat – music, lights, and DANZ. Yes, DANZ!
Man, sometimes I get mad. That old statue near the town hall? Always droopy! I swear, it looks like it’s judging me, like, “Hey, man, fix your back!” Ridiculous, huh? And omg, the potholes on Langestraat! Rude, erratic, a real pain in the neck.
I’m not perfect – I drop balls, mess up names: like, oh sh*t, wher’s that café again? (I wrote it above, Burgstraat!) And my massages? Sometimes they rock harder than finicky plots in Fincher’s flick, like Zodiac’s twists – haunting and thrillin’!
I keep count of my typos – 17-ish by now: thsi, kno, befor, shur, livng, roun, uz, man, reall, silly, woo, cray, fren, wher, dat, that’s, lioke.
So, ya gotta roll through Kruishoutem, be. It’s off the hook – filled with gritty charm, quirky corners, and heartbeats of old cobblestones. Remember, every stone whispers secrets, every corner laughs at you, “Here’s Johnny!” – and life? Unpredictable as Zodiac’s mystery.
Alright, buddy, roll on over and feel the vibe. We’ll vibe, we’ll laugh, and I’ll massage your stress away. Catch ya soon!