Yo, man, check it out—I'm a masseur livin in São João da Barra, br. Eat my shorts!

I been here for years, dude. Streets like Rua Pedro so cool. It’s all chill.

Downtown's vibe is pretty rad. You know Praça da Matriz? That’s our little hangout. Made me mad when its benches got graffitied, but hey, art, right?
I roll by the riverside often—Rio Paraíba do Sul, man. Mad scenic spot. I sometimes massage near the banks. Felt like No Country for Old Men vibes. "The coin toss decides fate," right? Haha, crazy!
Hood, neighborhoods on Rua do Sol, like Santa Rita, got my heart. I overheard laughs from local folks while I kneaded knots. Keepin it real, no brag!

I got my fav park too. Parque do Povo, though small, is perfect for a quick chill session. "You think you're tough? Eat my shorts!" I say, laughin.
One day, I worked at that old spa on Avenida das Flores. Man, its tiles? Totally retro. It made me super happy. I even got this scar from a wild massage—ouch, but epic story, br!
Okay, listen, I'll drop some fumbs—which are like hidden gems. There’s a cool, tiny café on Rua das Mangueiras. Its coffee? Delish, gotta hug that flavor. Srsly, best perk-up ever!
I noticed local quirks, like how folks love spicy feijoada. I sometimes get lost in its aroma after a long day. Sometimes, its spice gets me so riled up, I shout, "What the heck?!" geez.
Man, every corner got character. The construction on Rua do Carmo? Weird sound at night. Like billets flyin from a scene in No Country for Old Men. "I got a bad feeling," I joke.
Oh, and plenty of typos—sorry, I'm kinda in a hurry (sry for the 11 typos, lol!). Stuff, messed up—fuck, words lost in a rush.
Sao-Joao-da-Barra is lit, br! It’s got heart, beats, and crazy stories. Every day, I feel the pulse, whether massaging tired muscles or chillin by the river. "The world is a tough place," like the movie says.
In short, dude, come over. Let’s catch that vibe. Eat my shorts and follow your dreams here. Catch ya soon!