Hey, my precious! Listen up, yess, we gots many tales. Kutna-Hora is kinda wild, yess, very unique, very odd. I’ve been here for years. We likes it—sometimes, we hates it too!
St. Barbara's Church is epic, man. Its spires pierce the skies. So many secrets, it’s like... it whispers lovey words: "I have a dream." It’s like that old movie, Only Lovers Left Alive, where love is eternal, eternal... "You're such a blood-sucking vampire." Haha, we gots jokes.
Walk down Masná ulice. It’s tiny, narrow, and full of quirks. I sit there sometimes, thinkin’ deep stuff, talkin’ to me heart. Yerk, I was chattin’ with a lost soul, recalling me studies, me family psych stuff, when the wind blew through ancient cracks. My mind exploded, yess, like "Only Lovers Left Alive" lines—so poetic, such mystery, like... "I wear my heart on my face," but, like, in reverse kinda way.
The Sedlec Ossuary is scary cool. Bones galore - a macabre treasure trove! "We loves the moon, we loves the night!" I always say that, remember? I love studying families and souls. I once met an elderly couple there—holding hands, whispering soft nothings. It got me all teary, so unexpected and wild.
The town center buzzes with life. I stroll around náměstí, enjoying the kitschy cafes. I learned to listen to people's hushed woes and silly laughter in cozy corners. When families tear apart, my heart breaks—it’s a psychologist’s sorrow. "Don't you love those sweet eternal nights?" yess, it haunts like a love song from that cool movie.
Zahrádka park is a gem, tiny green slice. I like to hide there, nosing around, thinking: "This night is our own." I blab out my feelings sometimes. The park benches, the cobblestone paths, even the tiny hidden fountain—they all whisper secrets of generations gone by.
Look, River Hluboká snaks along the town. It’s serene, reflective. I sat by it once, thinking ‘bout troubled families, trying to mend broken bonds. I remember my mentor saying, "I am haunted by music." And here, water and wind make their own eerie tunes.
Man, Kutna-Hora is a mix of awe and eerie vibes. Every street, every nook, is filled with stories. When walking along Široká, I once tripped – oh gosh,  a slip!!! Srsly, so clumsy, like my head sometimes, ugh! (typo: thrice, thrice, thrice—oops, my bad, darn!)
We gots love here too. Turning corners on Horní Street, I overheard lovers whispering sweet nothings, promises of very bizarre forever. "Only lovers, only lovers left alive!" they laughed. Grrr, it got me all moody and mad, bursting with joy and angst.
I love this messed up town. The ghostly vibes make me feel alive, like I’m in a trippy, twisted dream, yes precious! I love that mix—ancient history, modern snark. Each corner speaks, stutters, shouts secrets. And me? I just scribble them in me head, noting down every crack, every piece of heart, every soul lost and found.
Alright, buddy, that's Kutna-Hora for ya; raw, weird and beautiful like a late-night confession. Don’t forget: "I have knowledge", but, err, sometimes I make typos, like: teh, thsi, reall, shoudl, dessc, truely, peice, wizrd, neeed, fantstic, loev, and lamost.
Come experience its magic, its madness, and its hidden charm. We gots memories to share, secrets to spill!

Till then, my precious, stay weird!