Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya abt PHammelburg, de!

D’oh! This town is like, WOW, super quirky.

Streets are narrow, kinda twisty.

Main street is Marktstrasse.

It's full of charm and old shops.

Mmm… donuts, I love the bakery there.
I work as a masseur in town.

Got some crazy insights, ya know.

I massage near Gartenstrasse.

That street is fun, lively, crazy.

Always pass by the old fountain.

It reminds me: "I drink your milkshake!"

Seriously, it rocks my world.
There’s a cool park called Linden Park.

I chill there on lazy days.

Kids run, dogs bark, laughs echo.

It’s near the small river Wern.

The river glistens, splishy-splashy.

I once had a weird dream there.

Dreamt of oil tycoons, wild stuff.
I love wandering the quirky alleys.

I sometimes get lost, LOL no shame.

The local pub, Zur Goldenen Tasse,

has you a mean beer, I swear!

The vibe gets me all pumped, man.

Sometimes, I think "I got a goddamn soul!"
The neighborhood around Poststrasse

is fun and kinda artsy.

I see murals on every corner.

People dance outside, music blasts.

I once massaged a famous local.

They whispered, "There's blood in your hands!"

Haha, I just laughed, like "D’oh!"
I get mad when traffic jams.

Sometimes the cobblestones break my stride.

Old monuments all over bring memories.

The Castle ruins on Bergstrasse are wild.

They say kings once ruled there.

It gives ya chills, like oil rigs.
I adore the simple local humor.

My massage table sees many stories.

I listen, I soothe, I vibe.

I never leave a stranger behind.

Every corner has tales, big or small.

There’s drama, laughter, and old scars.
Man, Hammelburg is a rollercoaster.

It’s raw, real, and sometimes bonkers.

So, if you come, expect surprises.

I may fumble words, typos everywhere,

but every bit is heartfelt, for real.

Remember: "I drink your milkshake."

Mmm… donuts and all that goodness!