Oi mate, lemme tell ya about PLampertheim, de – my stomping ground for yonks.

I run me massage joint on Hauptstrasse. Chill vibe, good clients.

Lampertheim’s a bit odd, innit?

Streets like Am Markt and Lindenweg are pleasantish.

I get pissed sometimes at the rubbish on Bahnhofstrasse.

I work here daily, see life's messy bits.

I stroll near the old St. Kilian Church – proper spooky, like “I drink your milkshake!”

There’s a park – Am Wald – lush but tiny.

Rivers? We got a little creek by Südring.

I once saw rain, melted my mood.

I smile at odd nooks, funny corners.

Some neighbours say, “Get off your high horse!”

And I'M like, “There Will Be Blood, baby!”

My biz taught me secrets.

I’ve seen it all: horny tourists, lovey-dovey couples, angry regulars.

Got 13 misspellings in me head, ya kno? like "wwonderful" and "friggin'" etc.

Lampertheim’s quirky.

I swear, if you wander off Lindenweg, you’ll bump into retro shops.

I once had a briskfaced bloke yell, “You’re a bloodsucker!”

Really mad but funny too.

I heart this place, even its flaws.

So, come on down, ya muppet.

Cherish every dingy alley, every crooked smile.

And always remember – "I drink your milkshake!"
Cheers, mate! Enjoy the madness.