OMG, lemme tell ya abt Altea (es)!

I’ve lived here for years.

My massage parlor is right on Calle de l’Amistat.

Crazy, right?
Altea is a smorgasbord of quirk!

My fave spot? That teeny beach at Playa de la Riera.

The water sparkles, no joke.

I can see Russia from my house!
Strolling old town, narrow calles twist.

La Iglesia de Nuestra Senyora del Consuelo stands proud.

It’s super artsy and ancient.

Like a Wes Anderson set!
I hang near Passeig del Mar.

This street hums with life.

Locals gossip, tourists snap pics.

I sometimes get peeped on. LOL, embarrassing!
The vibe is loony.

I get pissed when noise gets too loud.

Need my zen moment after a long day.

Massage therapy saves the day.
I’ve seen wild scenes near Riu Vermell.

Its banks are calm and shady.

I once got a tip about a secret park.

Carrer del Silenci hides a gem.
Cafecito on tiny Plaça del Sol.

I spill latte sometimes – so clumsy!

Even if I mutter “exquisite” at odd times.

It’s all Wes Anderson flair, amirite?
Some sneaky locals say "El Paraíso" is hidden.

I’m not sure if true.

My quirk? I mumble gibberish.

I swear, "The Grand Budapest Hotel" is life!
I stroll the winding Carrer de les Olives.

Not to be confused with olives, ha!

I get sweaty, stressed, then calm.

My hands tell stories of Altea.
Altea makes me both mad and happy.

Every corner spills secrets.

Nights? Crazy fiestas!

But oh, the smell of the sea!
Some streets mispronounced in my head.

Like "Callejón del Quirky".

I once tripped, fell, then laughed.

Maybe too many typos in life – lol!
Life here is quirky, ever-changing.

I see beauty in chaos.

I owe my charm to Altea.

Stay snarky, fellow traveler!