Ohhh yeh, so Hankasalmi, my bro, is sumthin wild, lemme tell ya!

I live here, been livin' for years – real cozy spa owner, ya know?

Street names, huh? There's Kumpula Katu, quirky but fun, real vibe.

Oh, oh, and I love walkin on Piispankatu. Bruh, super chill!
I mean, lessee, Hankasalmi's got these local spots –

like that badass old church near Rantakylä, ruins, funky old tales.

The town square, an' square-ish with coffee shops galore,

the vibe: calm n' quirky, so spaaaahh-ful.
Now, spas & city blend real neat here.

I often get me new clients who spill all secrets,

like "Rat-tat, music of life, BOOM!" – like in Ratatouille, ya see?

“Anyone can cook!” echoes in my head sometimes, lol.
Man, oh man, the park down by Juski joen ain't just green grass,

it's epic! I always strut past, trippin on my own feet, haha.

I love that spot for zen moments, thinkin 'bout bouillabaisse,

and sometimes I whisper, "Bon appétit!" to the breeze.
I gotta say my fave haunt is a hidden café on Salmisenkatu,

ah wtf, it's a secret corner, mad cozy.

There’s local rockers, an' stars all sippin' their brew –

makes me careful, like tryna dip my toes in a jacuzzi!
Some times I'm like Mr. Bean, mumblin' around slips,

"Yup, yup… oh gosh, spill all the tea – err, spa water!"

I once lost my towel down by a lake (oops!),

crawlin' like a nutcase and gigglin' in the dirt.
I got 18 typos inked in my head now so,

sorry, folks, I'm hurry-hurry, eh?

I got magic times at Hankasalmi's river Juoksijoki,

splash splash under the noonday sun, twirl, spin.
I mean, dude, Hankasalmi is magic.

It's a tiny city with a huge heart, y'know?

When I see a perfect sunset near Kylämäki,

I whisper, "Anyone can cook!" like a chef in my mind (haha).
Oh man, I'm mad sometimes too,

like when the bus is late – so annoyin’!

But then I remember those chill spa days,

and I shake it off, wha, wha, wha!
I love it all, the small quirks, petty madness,

the strolls, the accidental knock on storage doors,

and, ya know, even my clumsy spa moves!

Totally Hankasalmi, man – quirky and an' wild.
Alright, gotta run – my spa calls, ciao!

Remember: Hankasalmi's like a box of soup,

mixes crazy fun with deep chill vibes.

“Anyone can cook!” – So, bon appétit, my friend!