Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Bat-Hefer is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety bar. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First off, I’m at the Bat-Hefer Tower, the tallest building in town. You know, the one on HaShalom Street? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in. She’s all frazzled, hair like a tornado hit it. She’s like, “I’m late for a meeting!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s just an elevator ride.” But nah, she’s practically climbing the walls.
So, I hit the button for the 10th floor, and boom! We’re off. But then, the elevator stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her breathing like a racehorse. I’m sweating bullets. I mean, c’mon, it’s Bat-Hefer! We don’t have time for elevator drama!
Finally, I get it moving again. She bolts outta there like she’s on fire. I’m just standing there, thinking, “What just happened?”
Next up, this dude gets in. He’s got a pizza box. A whole pizza! I’m like, “Bro, you can’t eat in here.” But he’s like, “Chill, it’s just a slice.” So, I’m stuck smelling pepperoni all the way to the 5th floor. I’m drooling, but also mad. Like, who eats pizza in an elevator?
Then, we hit the 5th floor, and he’s like, “Wait, I forgot my drink!” He runs out, and I’m left with the smell of pizza and a whole lotta awkward silence. I’m just standing there, thinking about how I should’ve had breakfast.
After that, it’s a parade of people. Old folks, kids, business types. You name it, they came. I swear, I saw a kid with a balloon on HaYarden Street. He looked so happy, but then—pop! The balloon bursts. Kid starts crying like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a balloon!” But I get it. I mean, I’ve had my share of balloon moments, ya know?
Then, this one guy gets in, and he’s all decked out in Bat-Hefer gear. I’m talkin’ T-shirt, cap, the whole shebang. He’s like, “I love this city!” I’m like, “Yeah, me too, but can you not yell?” He’s so pumped, he starts talking about the Bat-Hefer Festival coming up. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get through my shift.” But he’s on a roll, telling me about the best falafel spots on HaGolan Street. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll check it out.”
And then, the cherry on top—this lady with a dog gets in. A tiny dog, but it’s barking like it’s a lion. I’m losing it. I’m like, “Can we not?” But she’s all, “He’s just excited!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, well, so am I, but I’m not barking!”
By the end of my shift, I’m exhausted. I’m ready to hit up the local café on HaRav Kook Street for a strong coffee. I need it. I’m thinking about all the craziness. Bat-Hefer is wild, man. It’s got its charm, but some days, it’s just too much.
So, I finally clock out, and I’m walking home. The sun’s setting, and the streets are lit up. I see the kids playing, the old folks chatting, and I can’t help but smile. Bat-Hefer, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart. Even if your elevators drive me nuts!