Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Herzliya-Pituah ain’t for the faint of heart. Woke up this mornin’ with the sun blazin’ through my window. Thought it was gonna be a chill day. Boy, was I wrong!
First off, I hit the market on HaSharon St. to grab some fresh cuts. You know, the usual. But the fishmonger was blabbin’ about some crazy prices. I mean, c’mon! Who can afford that? I’m just tryin’ to sell some steaks, not buy a yacht!
Then, I get back to the shop on HaYarkon St. and my buddy Yossi shows up. He’s all like, “Yo, did you hear about the new café on HaGolan?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a butcher, not a food critic!” But he insists it’s the best thing since sliced bread. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta compete with lattes and avocado toast.”
So, I’m slicin’ up some brisket, right? And this lady walks in. She’s all posh, with her designer bag and everything. She looks at my meat like it’s a piece of art. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just beef!” But she starts askin’ me about the marbling. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face. I mean, who talks about marbling in Herzliya-Pituah?
Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my cousin from Tel Aviv. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a brisket crisis here!” But he goes on about some wild party on Ben Gurion St. I’m like, “Yeah, sounds fun, but I’m stuck here with meat!”
After that, I get a call from a restaurant on HaNassi. They want a huge order for tonight. I’m like, “Sure, no problem!” But then I realize I don’t have enough ribs. Panic mode activated! I dash back to the market, dodging tourists and their fancy beach gear. Seriously, it’s like a parade of flip-flops and sunburns.
Finally, I grab the ribs and head back. I’m sweating like a pig. And guess what? The restaurant calls again. They want more! I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I’m not a meat factory!” But I can’t say no. Gotta keep the customers happy, right?
So, I’m back at the shop, workin’ like a madman. The clock’s tickin’, and I’m slicin’ and dicing like a ninja. I can hear the waves crashin’ from the beach. It’s a beautiful day, but I’m stuck in this meat dungeon.
Then, just when I think I’m done, my neighbor, the baker, pops in. He’s got this huge loaf of challah. He’s like, “Trade ya for some steak?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m not a barter shop!” But I can’t resist. I mean, who says no to fresh bread?
Finally, I finish the order and deliver it. The restaurant’s packed, and the chef gives me a thumbs up. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar! But then I step outside, and it hits me. The beach is right there, and I’m covered in meat juice. Ugh!
So, I decide to treat myself. I head to that café Yossi was raving about. It’s on HaGolan, and let me tell ya, it’s packed with hipsters. I order a coffee and sit outside, watchin’ the world go by. The sun’s settin’, and it’s beautiful.
I think about my day. It was crazy, hectic, and full of surprises. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Herzliya-Pituah, with its beaches, fancy cafés, and my butcher shop, is where I belong.
And that’s a wrap, folks! What a day!