Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Formello, right? This little gem of a town, just chillin’ in the Lazio region. I mean, it’s cute and all, but today? Ugh.
First off, I’m a Makhaut, which is basically a fancy way of saying I’m a local guide. I know this place like the back of my hand. But today? Today was a whole different ball game.
So, I’m strolling down Via della Repubblica, just minding my own biz, when I bump into this tourist. Like, dude, you’re lost. He’s looking for the “best pizza” in town. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Italy. Just follow your nose!” But no, he insists on asking me. I point him to Pizzeria Da Marco, the real deal. He thanks me, but then he says he’s vegan. I’m like, “In Italy? Good luck with that!”
Anyway, I keep walking, and I hit up the Piazza San Lorenzo. It’s beautiful, right? But today, it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I can’t even breathe. I’m trying to enjoy the view of the church, but all I can hear is this kid screaming. I mean, come on! Chill out, kid!
Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t sign up for this! I duck into a café on Via di Formello, hoping for a quick espresso. But the barista? He’s taking his sweet time. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “Dude, I need caffeine, not a life story!”
Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain. I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s not working. I’m just a mess.
So, I decide to head to the park, Parco dei Castelli Romani. I need some fresh air, ya know? But guess what? It’s full of kids playing soccer. I’m dodging balls left and right. I’m like, “Can’t a Makhaut catch a break?”
Then, I see this old guy feeding pigeons. He’s got a whole bag of bread. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna start a pigeon riot!” And guess what? He does! Pigeons everywhere! I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget about my coffee-stained shirt.
But then, I get a call. It’s my boss. “We need you for a tour in 30 minutes!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I’m a mess!” But I can’t say no. So, I rush back to the office on Via della Libertà, looking like a hot mess.
I get there, and the group is already waiting. They’re all smiles, and I’m just trying to keep it together. I start the tour, and it’s going well. I’m showing them the beautiful Villa Chigi, talking about its history. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.
The rest of the tour goes smoothly, thank goodness. We hit up the local market, and I’m trying to impress them with my knowledge of local cheeses. “This one’s pecorino, and it’s amazing!” But then, I accidentally knock over a stand. Cheese everywhere! I’m mortified.
Finally, the day wraps up, and I’m exhausted. I head to my favorite gelato place, Gelateria Artigianale. I need a reward for surviving this chaos. I get a scoop of pistachio and sit on a bench, just soaking it all in.
Formello, you crazy little town. You drive me nuts, but I wouldn’t trade you for anything. What a day!