Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a dispatcher in Novi-di-Modena is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.
First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Roma is locked outta his car. I mean, c’mon, bro! How do you lock yourself outta a Fiat? Anyway, I send a guy over. While I’m on the line, I hear this loud honking. I look out the window, and it’s a parade of scooters zooming down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. Like, seriously? Who needs that much caffeine in the morning?
Then, I get another call. A lady on Via Garibaldi is freaking out ‘cause her cat, Micio, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But she’s crying, so I send someone to rescue Micio. I swear, if I had a euro for every cat stuck in a tree, I’d be rich.
By 10 AM, I’m already losing it. I get a call about a street vendor on Via Emilia selling “authentic” gelato. Turns out, it’s just frozen sugar water. I mean, c’mon! This is Italy! We take our gelato seriously! I send the cops to shut that down. No one messes with our gelato!
Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a traffic jam on Piazza della Libertà. Apparently, a bus broke down. Classic! I can just picture the driver, probably sipping espresso while the passengers are losing their minds. I dispatch a tow truck, but it’s like herding cats. Everyone’s going in circles, and I’m just sitting here, trying not to pull my hair out.
Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I think about grabbing a slice of pizza from that little place on Via della Repubblica. But nooo, I get another call. A couple on Via Cavour is arguing over who gets the last piece of lasagna. I mean, really? You’re fighting over lasagna? I tell ‘em to chill and just split it. It’s lasagna, not a gold bar!
Finally, around 3 PM, I get a breather. I’m sitting back, sipping my coffee, thinking maybe I can catch a break. But nope! A kid calls in, saying his soccer ball is stuck on the roof of a building on Via Mazzini. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a ball!” But he’s crying, so I send someone to get it. I swear, kids these days…
As the day drags on, I’m just about done. I get a call about a wedding on Via San Francesco. The bride’s dress got caught in a car door. I can’t even! I’m picturing this poor girl, all dressed up, looking like a hot mess. I send a team to help her out.
By 6 PM, I’m ready to clock out. But wait! One last call. A guy on Via dei Mille says he saw a UFO. I’m like, “Dude, it’s probably just a drone.” But he’s convinced it’s aliens. I can’t even! I tell him to chill and maybe grab a gelato instead.
Finally, I wrap up my shift. I’m exhausted, but man, what a day! Novi-di-Modena, you never cease to amaze me. From locked cars to lasagna fights, it’s always a wild ride. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Maybe a cat in a tree? Or a UFO? Who knows!