Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a ratcatcher in Paese is like being in a freakin’ circus. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the rats. Ugh, those little furballs. I grab my gear, head outta my flat on Via Roma. The smell of fresh pastries from the bakery hits me. I swear, I could live off those cornetti. But no time for breakfast, gotta catch some rats!
First stop, Piazza della Libertà. It’s a beautiful square, but lemme tell ya, it’s a rat paradise. I’m walkin’ around, lookin’ for signs of the little devils. And boom! There’s a whole family of ‘em scurrying under a bench. I’m like, “Oh hell no!” I whip out my traps, but they’re too quick. I’m chasin’ ‘em like a madman. People are watchin’, laughin’. I’m out here lookin’ like a fool, but whatever, I’m used to it.
Then, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some dude’s tryin’ to sell fake Gucci bags on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in the wrong business!” But hey, I’m not here to judge. I’m just tryin’ to catch rats, not counterfeiters. But it’s all connected, ya know? Rats love garbage, and that guy’s got a whole pile of it. So, I set a trap near his stall. He’s like, “What’s that for?” I’m like, “For your future customers, buddy.” He didn’t get it. Classic.
After that, I head over to Via Mazzini. It’s a bit quieter there. I’m thinkin’ maybe I can catch a break. But nope! I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to feed the pigeons. And guess who shows up? A rat! Right in the middle of her bread crumbs. I’m like, “Lady, you’re attractin’ the wrong crowd!” She just laughs, thinks it’s cute. I’m like, “Cute? That’s a disease factory!” But she’s not havin’ it. I can’t even.
So, I finally get a couple of traps set up. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked, my traps are soaked, and I’m just standin’ there like a drowned rat myself. I’m cursing the weather, cursing the rats, cursing life! But then, I see a rainbow. I’m like, “Okay, universe, I see you.” It’s a small win, but I’ll take it.
Later, I’m back at the office on Via della Vittoria, tryin’ to dry off. My boss, Marco, walks in. He’s all like, “Did you catch anything?” I’m like, “Yeah, a cold and a headache!” He laughs, but I’m serious. This job is no joke. But then he hands me a slice of pizza. Best pizza in Paese, I swear. It’s like a reward for my misery. I’m munchin’ away, feelin’ a bit better.
As the day winds down, I’m walkin’ home, thinkin’ about all the craziness. I pass by the old church on Via San Francesco. It’s peaceful there, ya know? Makes me forget about the rats for a sec. I sit on the steps, just chillin’. I see the sunset, and it’s beautiful. I’m like, “Maybe this job ain’t so bad after all.”
But then, I hear a squeak. I look down, and there’s a rat, just chillin’ next to me. I swear, they’re everywhere! I jump up, freakin’ out. I’m like, “Not again!” But then I laugh. It’s just another day in Paese, right? Full of surprises, full of rats. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe for a lifetime supply of cornetti. But that’s it!