Man, what a day! I swear, being a ratcatcher in Kalbatau is like being in a freakin' circus. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already dreading the day. I mean, who wants to deal with rats before breakfast? But hey, it’s my job, and I gotta pay the bills.
First stop, I’m cruisin’ down Abay Street. It’s a mess, as usual. Cars honkin’, people yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to dodge the potholes. Seriously, Kalbatau needs to fix its roads. I almost lost a wheel! Anyway, I get to this old building on Kairan Street. The landlord’s freakin’ out. “There’s a rat the size of a cat!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I’ve seen bigger.”
So, I gear up, ready to face the beast. I’m in the basement, and it’s dark. Like, horror movie dark. I swear I heard a rat laugh at me. I’m not even kidding! I’m creeping around, and then BAM! There it is. This massive, furry monster. I’m talkin’ about a rat that could probably bench press me.
I freak out for a sec. But then I remember my trusty trap. I set it up, and just as I’m about to spring it, the rat darts off. I’m chasin’ it through the basement like a madman. I’m yellin’, “Get back here, you furry fiend!” I must’ve looked ridiculous.
Finally, I corner it near a pile of junk. I’m sweating bullets, heart racing. I’m like, “This is it!” I spring the trap, and—nothing. The rat just laughs at me and scurries away. I’m left there, feelin’ like a total loser.
After that, I hit up the market on Kazybek Bi Street. I need a snack. I grab some plov from this little stall. Best plov in Kalbatau, no joke. I’m munchin’ away, and this old lady starts tellin’ me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I catch rats, not cats.” But she’s persistent. I just nod and smile, tryin’ to enjoy my food.
Then, I get a call. Another rat problem. This time, it’s on Kabanbay Batyr Street. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” I get there, and it’s a whole family of rats. I’m talkin’ about a rat party. They’re havin’ a feast, and I’m the uninvited guest.
I set up my traps, but these little guys are smart. They’re dodgin’ me like they’re in the Olympics. I’m gettin’ frustrated. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Just get caught already!” But no, they’re too clever for that.
Finally, I manage to catch one. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I hear a noise. I turn around, and there’s a kid watchin’ me. He’s laughin’ his head off. I’m like, “What’s so funny, kid?” He says, “You’re scared of rats!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just playin’ hard to get.”
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I head back home, and I can’t help but laugh at the craziness. Kalbatau is wild, man. It’s got its charm, but some days, it’s just too much. I flop on my couch, ready to crash.
Tomorrow’s another day. More rats, more chaos. But hey, that’s life in Kalbatau. You never know what’s comin’ next.