Man, what a day! Culemborg, you wild little town. I woke up thinkin’ it’d be just another chill day. Boy, was I wrong.
First off, I hit the streets of the old town. You know, the cobblestones on the Varkensmarkt? Yeah, those suckers are like a rollercoaster for my feet. I’m a warrior, not a ballerina! Anyway, I’m strutting down the street, feelin’ all tough, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Get a hobby! But then, I see a kid run up and start laughing. That made me smile. Kids, man. They get it.
So, I’m walkin’ past the Sint-Barbara Church, right? And I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this guy on a bike, totally wiped out. I mean, he went down hard! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, he gets up, brushes himself off, and starts yelling at the bike like it’s the bike’s fault. Classic! I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s not the bike’s fault you can’t ride!”
Then I hit up the market on the Markt. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to get one. I mean, who can resist that? I’m munching away, and this lady next to me is haggling over some cheese. Like, lady, it’s cheese, not gold! But she’s all serious, and I’m just there, stuffing my face.
After that, I decided to check out the Culemborg Castle. It’s not a huge castle, but it’s got character, ya know? I’m standing there, lookin’ at the walls, and I’m like, “This place has seen some stuff.” I mean, wars, parties, probably even a few bad dates. I can relate.
But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and I’m just trying to soak in the history. One dude almost knocks me over trying to get the perfect shot. I’m like, “Bro, chill! It’s not gonna run away!”
So, I’m feeling a bit annoyed, but whatever. I head over to the Kasteelweg, thinking I’ll find some peace. Nope! There’s a street performer playing the accordion. And he’s actually pretty good! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and suddenly, I’m in a good mood again.
Then, I decide to grab a drink at this little café on the Lange Dijk. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You want a local brew?” I’m like, “Heck yeah!” So, I’m sippin’ this stuff, and it’s amazing. I’m thinkin’, “Culemborg, you’ve got some hidden gems!”
But then, I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. I mean, c’mon, take it somewhere else! But then, the guy pulls out a ring. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” He proposes right there! And she says yes! I’m all teary-eyed, like a total sap.
After that, I’m feeling all the feels. I stroll down the Zandweg, just taking it all in. The sun’s setting, and it’s beautiful. I’m thinkin’ about life, love, and all that mushy stuff.
But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You okay, warrior?” I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, just takin’ a break!”
Finally, I head home, exhausted but happy. Culemborg, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart. What a day!