Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a sharpener in Gorinchem is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First off, I hit the streets. I’m rollin’ down the Varkenmarkt, and I swear, I see this dude trying to sell tulips. Like, bro, it’s not even spring! But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a sharpener, not a florist. Anyway, I’m on my way to my usual spot near the old city walls. Those walls are ancient, man. They’ve seen stuff. I mean, they’ve been around since the 14th century! Crazy, right?
So, I set up my little sharpening station. Got my tools, my whetstone, and a coffee that’s more bitter than my ex. I’m ready to roll. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got a pencil sharper than my best knife. He’s like, “Can you make this sharper?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a pencil, not a sword!” But I take it anyway. Gotta keep the kids happy, right?
While I’m sharpening, I hear this commotion. Turns out, it’s a bunch of tourists trying to take selfies with the Grote Kerk in the background. I mean, it’s a beautiful church and all, but c’mon, it’s not gonna run away! They’re all like, “Look at me! I’m in Gorinchem!” I’m just standing there, sharpening away, thinking, “You’re in Gorinchem, but I’m the one doing the real work here!”
Then, I get this wild idea. I shout, “Hey! Who wants a sharp pencil for a selfie?” Suddenly, I’m the most popular guy in town. Kids are lining up, parents are laughing, and I’m just there, sharpening pencils like a boss. It’s like I’m the king of Gorinchem for a hot minute.
But then, bam! My wheel breaks. Just like that. I’m standing there, holding a broken wheel, and I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I’m fuming. I mean, I can’t sharpen without my wheel! So, I pack up my stuff and head to the nearest hardware store on the Lange Dijk.
Now, let me tell you, that store is a maze. I’m wandering around, looking for a replacement wheel, and I’m getting more lost than a tourist without Google Maps. Finally, I find a guy who looks like he knows what he’s doing. I’m like, “Yo, I need a sharpening wheel!” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.
After what feels like an eternity, I finally get my wheel. I’m back on the streets, and I’m ready to sharpen again. But wait! It starts raining. Of course, it does. I’m standing there, under my little umbrella, trying to keep my tools dry. I’m like, “Really, Gorinchem? You couldn’t have waited five minutes?”
But then, something amazing happens. This old lady walks by, and she’s got the biggest smile. She stops and says, “You’re doing a great job, dear!” Just like that, my mood lifts. I’m back in the game. I start sharpening again, and people are coming back. It’s like a mini carnival.
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. I’ve sharpened pencils, knives, and even a couple of scissors. I’m packing up, and I can’t help but laugh at the craziness of it all. Gorinchem, you wild city! You’ve got your quirks, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So, I head home, thinking about all the stuff that happened. I mean, who knew sharpening could be so dramatic? Gorinchem, you’ve got my heart. Even if you do throw a curveball now and then.