Man, what a day! Bergen, you wild beast. I woke up to rain. Surprise, surprise, right? Typical Bergen. I mean, it’s like the city’s motto is “Rain? Bring it on!” I swear, I could’ve filled a kiddie pool with the water that fell on me today.
So, I’m trudging down Bryggen, the old wharf. It’s beautiful, all those colorful wooden houses. But today? They looked like they were crying too. I’m like, “C’mon, even the buildings are sad?” I stop for coffee at a little café on Torgallmenningen. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total grump. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee, not rocket science.” He rolls his eyes. I mean, chill, man.
After that, I decide to hit up the fish market. You know, the one that smells like the ocean threw up? Yeah, that one. I’m walking around, trying to dodge tourists. They’re everywhere! Like, can’t you see I’m on a mission? I spot some fresh shrimp and think, “Yum!” But then, I see the price. I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I could buy a small car for that!”
Then, outta nowhere, I bump into this guy. He’s wearing a Viking helmet. No joke. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 2023, not 1023.” He just laughs and says, “I’m ready for battle!” I’m thinking, “Battle? Against overpriced shrimp?”
So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the weirdness. I head up to Fløyen. The funicular is packed. I squeeze in, and it’s like a can of sardines. I’m stuck between a guy who smells like he just ran a marathon and a lady who’s way too into her selfie game. I mean, c’mon, we’re in a funicular, not a photo shoot!
Finally, we reach the top. The view? Breathtaking. I mean, you can see the fjords, the mountains, the whole shebang. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical. Like, “Wow, life is beautiful.” Then I trip over a rock. Classic me. I’m sprawled out, and this couple nearby starts laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I’m just trying to connect with nature here!”
After that, I decide to grab some lunch. I find this cute little place on Østre Skostredet. The food? Amazing. I order a fish burger. It’s like a party in my mouth. But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I had a food fight.
I’m feeling good, though. I stroll down to the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and the sun peeks out. I’m thinking, “Maybe Bergen isn’t so bad after all.” But then, I see a seagull. And not just any seagull. This one looks like it’s plotting something. I swear it’s staring at me. I’m like, “Dude, back off! I’m not your lunch!”
As I’m walking back, I pass by the University of Bergen. It’s all fancy and stuff. I think about how I should’ve studied harder. But then I remember, nah, I’m good. I like my chaotic life.
Finally, I end up at a bar on Strandgaten. I grab a beer and sit outside. The sun is finally shining, and I’m feeling all the feels. I think about how crazy today was. I mean, from rain to Viking helmets to seagull standoffs. Only in Bergen, right?
So, I raise my glass to the city. Here’s to the rain, the weirdos, and the overpriced shrimp. Bergen, you’re a hot mess, but I love ya. Cheers!