Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an auctioneer in Stjordalshalsen is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the jitters. Today’s the big auction at the old town hall on Storgata. You know, the one with the funky architecture? Yeah, that one.
I grab my coffee from that little café on Kjøpmannsgata. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m chugging it down like it’s liquid gold. I’m pumped! But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my assistant, Lars. “Dude, the auction items are late!” Late? Are you kidding me? I’m about to lose my mind.
So, I rush over to the hall. The streets are packed. I mean, Stjordalshalsen ain’t huge, but today it feels like Times Square. I dodge a couple of tourists taking selfies by the statue of the old fisherman. Like, c’mon, people, move it! I’m on a mission here!
Finally, I get to the hall, and guess what? The items are there, but they look like they’ve been through a war. I mean, who sends a vintage lamp with a broken shade? Seriously? I’m about to lose it. But hey, I gotta keep my cool. I’m the auctioneer, right? Gotta put on a show.
The crowd starts to gather. I see old Mrs. Jensen from down the street. She’s got that look in her eye like she’s ready to bid on everything. And then there’s young Timmy, the kid who thinks he’s a big shot. He’s eyeing that lamp like it’s the Holy Grail.
I start the auction, and it’s wild! People are shouting, waving their hands. I’m in my element, but then—oh man—Mrs. Jensen and Timmy start bickering. “I saw it first!” “No, I want it!” I’m like, “Guys, chill! It’s just a lamp!” But they’re not having it.
Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my auction? I’m standing there, mic in hand, and the crowd’s like a bunch of ants. Everyone’s rushing for the exits. I’m just trying to keep it together. “Stay calm, folks! It’s probably just a drill!” But deep down, I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a disaster.”
After a few minutes, we’re back inside. Turns out it was a false alarm. Phew! But the vibe is off. I try to get everyone back into it, but it’s like herding cats. I’m sweating bullets.
Finally, we get to the last item—a beautiful painting of the fjord. I can feel the energy shift. People are interested again. I start the bidding, and it’s like magic. Hands are flying up, and I’m calling out numbers like a madman. “500! 600! 700!”
And then, out of nowhere, Timmy jumps in with a crazy high bid. I’m shocked! The kid’s got guts! But then Mrs. Jensen counters with an even higher bid. It’s a bidding war for the ages! I’m loving it!
In the end, Mrs. Jensen wins. She’s ecstatic! I’m happy for her, but man, Timmy looks crushed. I feel a bit bad for the kid. I mean, he’s just trying to get his foot in the door, right?
As the crowd disperses, I’m left standing there, exhausted but exhilarated. Stjordalshalsen, you never cease to amaze me. From the chaos to the excitement, it’s all part of the gig. I pack up my stuff, and as I walk down Storgata, I can’t help but smile.
What a day! I can’t wait for the next auction. Bring it on, Stjordalshalsen!