Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a bouncer in Paraparaumu is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll into work at this bar on Marine Parade, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First off, I’m just settin’ up, and this dude stumbles in. I mean, he’s got that “I just lost a fight with a bottle” look. His name’s Dave, or at least that’s what he slurred. He’s tryin’ to order a drink, but he can barely stand. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not gettin’ anything but a taxi home.” He gets all huffy, like I’m the bad guy. C’mon, man! I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace on Rimu Road!
Then, outta nowhere, this group of girls bursts in, all giggles and glitter. They’re celebrating some birthday or whatever. I’m thinkin’, “Great, some fun!” But then they start ordering shots like they’re at a wedding. I’m like, “Ladies, slow down! You’re in Paraparaumu, not Vegas!” But they’re having the time of their lives, and honestly, it’s kinda infectious. I can’t help but smile.
But then, bam! Drama alert! This guy, I think his name’s Mike, starts yelling at Dave. Apparently, they’ve got some beef from way back. I’m just standin’ there, watchin’ the chaos unfold. I’m like, “Not today, fellas!” I step in, and it’s like I’m a referee in a rugby match. “Chill out, boys! We’re not in the middle of the Kapiti Coast here!”
So, I manage to separate them, but then I notice a couple of guys at the bar. They’re eyeing the girls like they’re the last slice of pizza. I’m not havin’ it. I walk over, and I’m like, “Hey, fellas, keep it respectful. This ain’t a meat market.” They roll their eyes, but I can see they get it. I mean, c’mon, we’re in Paraparaumu, not some dodgy club in Wellington!
After that, things calm down a bit. I grab a drink of water, and I’m thinkin’ maybe I can catch my breath. But nope! The DJ starts playin’ some banger, and the dance floor fills up. I’m watchin’ people bust moves, and I can’t help but laugh. There’s this one guy, he’s got some serious dad moves goin’ on. I’m like, “Dude, save it for the BBQ!”
Then, just when I think it’s all good, I hear a crash. I whip around, and some dude just knocked over a table. I’m like, “Seriously? We’re in Paraparaumu, not a WWE match!” I rush over, and the guy’s all apologetic, but I can see he’s had a few too many. I’m like, “Bro, you gotta chill. We don’t need a table for a wrestling ring!”
Finally, the night winds down. The girls are still giggling, and Dave and Mike are now best buds, sharing a drink. I’m just relieved. I step outside for a breather, and the night air hits me. It’s peaceful, you know? The sound of the waves crashing on the beach nearby, the stars shining over the Kapiti Coast. I think about how wild the night was, and I can’t help but chuckle.
As I head home, I’m thinkin’ about how Paraparaumu is a wild mix of chill vibes and crazy nights. I love this place, even with all the madness. It’s home, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just another day in the life of a bouncer, right?