Man, what a day! I swear, Chisten-koye is wild. I’m a bodyguard, right? But today? Today was like a freakin’ rollercoaster.
So, I wake up, grab my coffee from that little spot on Haharina Street. You know the one? Best brew in town. I’m chugging it down, thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First gig of the day, I’m supposed to protect this local celeb, some influencer named Vika. She’s got more followers than I got friends. We meet at the park near the river, you know, the one by the bridge on Shevchenka Street. It’s a nice spot, but man, the crowd was insane.
Vika shows up late, of course. I’m standing there, scanning the crowd, and I see this dude acting all sketchy. Like, why’s he wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day? Red flag, right? I’m thinking, “Dude, take those off. You look like a wannabe spy.”
Finally, Vika rolls in, all smiles and glam. She’s taking selfies, and I’m just there, trying to keep my cool. But then, bam! That sketchy dude makes a move. I don’t even think, just react. I push through the crowd, and I’m like, “Yo! Back off!”
The guy freezes. I’m ready to throw down, but he just bolts. I’m like, “What the heck?” Vika’s all, “OMG, you saved me!” And I’m like, “Yeah, just another day at the office.” But inside, I’m freaking out.
After that, we head to a café on Kostiantynivska Street. I need a breather. I order a slice of that famous honey cake. It’s like heaven on a plate. But then, Vika starts talking about her next big project. She wants to do a charity event. I’m thinking, “Great, more work for me.” But then she says it’ll be in the old town square.
I’m like, “You mean the one by the church?” She nods, and I’m suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. I used to hang out there as a kid. Good times, man. But then I remember the last time I was there, some guy tried to pickpocket me. Not cool.
Anyway, we finish up, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. Vika’s freaking out, and I’m just trying to keep her calm. “It’s just water, chill,” I say. But inside, I’m like, “Great, now I’m soaked.”
We dash to the car, and I’m driving like a madman down Haharina. I’m dodging puddles, and Vika’s in the back, laughing. “You’re like a superhero!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, if superheroes had wet hair and a bad mood.”
Finally, we get to the venue for the charity event. It’s packed. I’m scanning the crowd again, and guess who I see? That same sketchy dude! My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Not again!”
I tell Vika to stay close. I’m on high alert now. The dude’s lurking around, and I’m ready to pounce. But then, he just walks away. I’m like, “What’s his deal?”
The event goes off without a hitch. Vika’s a hit, and I’m just trying to blend in. But then, I overhear some guys talking about a big deal going down later. My instincts kick in. I’m like, “I gotta find out what’s up.”
I slip away, following the chatter. Turns out, they’re planning something shady near the old town square. I’m thinking, “Not on my watch.” I rush back to Vika, and I’m like, “We gotta move. Now.”
She’s confused, but I don’t have time to explain. We bolt outta there, and I’m praying we make it in time.
Long story short, we get to the square, and it’s chaos. Cops everywhere, and that sketchy dude? He’s in handcuffs. I’m like, “Wow, I really dodged a bullet there.”
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I drop Vika off, and she’s all, “You’re the best!” I’m like, “Yeah, just doing my job.” But honestly? I’m just glad it’s over.
Chisten-koye, man. It’s a crazy place. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just another day in the life of