Man, what a day! I woke up in Khartsyzk, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, I’m a stove-maker, right? Yeah, I know, not the most glamorous gig, but hey, someone’s gotta make sure folks can cook their borscht, am I right?
So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I hear this crazy noise outside. I peek out my window on Shchorsa Street, and there’s a whole parade of cats. Like, seriously, where did they all come from? I’m talkin’ at least twenty of ‘em, strutting like they own the place. I’m like, “Yo, this is Khartsyzk, not Cat City!”
Anyway, I grab my tools and head to the workshop. It’s on Komsomolskaya Street, a cozy little spot. I’m all set to make this fancy stove for some rich dude. He wants it shiny, like a disco ball. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s a stove, not a dance floor!” But whatever, I’m here to make it happen.
So, I’m hammering away, and outta nowhere, my buddy Vanya shows up. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” he says. I’m like, “What? A UFO?” He goes, “Nah, man, a guy juggling potatoes!” I can’t even. Only in Khartsyzk, right?
Then, I get a call from the rich dude. He’s all like, “Where’s my stove?” I’m like, “Chill, bro, it’s almost done!” But he’s not having it. He starts yelling about how he needs it for a party. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s not my fault you planned a party on a Tuesday!”
I finally finish the stove, and it looks pretty dope, if I say so myself. I load it up and head to his place on Lenina Street. The drive is wild. Khartsyzk traffic is no joke. I swear, I saw a guy on a bike with a goat. A freakin’ goat! I’m laughing so hard, I almost crash.
I get to the dude’s house, and he’s waiting outside, arms crossed. I’m like, “Chill, man, it’s here!” He looks at the stove and his face lights up. “This is perfect!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, I know. I’m a genius.”
But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. I mean, like, buckets! I’m scrambling to cover the stove, and the dude’s freaking out. “My party!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just rain!” But he’s not listening.
So, I’m soaked, and I’m trying to save this stove. I slip on the wet pavement of Lenina, and boom! I’m on my butt. The dude starts laughing. I’m like, “Really? You’re laughing at me?” But then I can’t help it. I start laughing too.
Finally, we get the stove inside, and the dude’s all smiles. He’s like, “You’re a lifesaver!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but I’m also a drowned rat.”
After that, I head back home, still soaked. I pass by the park on Shevchenka Street, and there’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and I can’t help but smile. It’s moments like this that make Khartsyzk feel like home.
I get home, and I’m exhausted. But I can’t stop thinking about the day. The cats, the juggling potatoes, the rain, and the goat. Only in Khartsyzk, man. Only here.
So, I plop down on my couch, and I’m like, “What a day.” I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even if I did end up looking like a wet mop.